Sympathy message etiquette

A large number of people tend to think that a sympathy message needs to be conveyed only when, someone close to them has lost life. However, that`s not appropriate. You can send a message when your loved ones might have faced harsh times, in their lives. For instance, loss of valuables, or suffered some illness.

So, one of the most critical thing is to follow some of the important sympathy message etiquettes. Moreover, a good sympathy message is like a hand-clasp, warm and friendly.

Sympathy messages can be conveyed on the occasion of death-anniversary, death of a pet, divorce, hospitalization due to accident, miscarriage, natural disasters, such as, drought, bush-fires(like the current one in Australia). During these times you can directly express your feelings of sorrow at other person`s loss, via sympathy sayings. You ought to mention the name of the person who died or that unfortunate event, in your message.

Here are some of the things you can follow while, writing a sympathy message.

• Express your sadness or shock at hearing the news.
• If possible, write down how you came to know of it.
• Don`t forget to write a few words about the person who “passed away” or the unfortunate event.
• Offer your sympathy and good wishes, where appropriate.
• Last but not the least, show your concern & try to end it with a thoughtful phrase.

Here are some of the things which you should try to avoid:

• Don`t make your message too lengthy. Try to keep it short.
• Also, avoid the use of “dramatic” language and words such as, dreadful, appalling. A simple message of “I am sorry to hear…..” , can sometimes be more effective.
• It usually takes time for the mourning family to think of something, they would want to change. Avoid advising wholesale changes like, moving to another city, etc.
• Try to share the loss of your friends & don`t put too much focus on your own feelings, like “I have been shattered to hear……”.
• Avoid offering false cheeriness. In a Reader`s Digest article titled, “An etiquette for sympathy”, David C. Hayes says, “In the context of grief, clichés are simply bad manners…..”.
• If possible, try to write a sympathy message in your own hand-writing, which helps to show your concern for the loss of your friend.

Be tactful, but don't fear being honest…. using the word death or suicide, for example. Circumlocutions like passed on, passed away, departed, left this life, gone to their reward, gone to a better life, the deceased, and the dear departed are no longer seen very often.

What you must remember while, writing your message is the fact that your words would not take away his/her grief completely. So, you should try to accept this fact and write your message, accordingly.

There is a very fine line between pity and sympathy. You should try to show your sympathy, which in effect means, you respect that person`s ability to survive the unfortunate event whereas, pity, shows that the person has lost that battle.

These are some of the essential sympathy message etiquette, which you should try to follow.